Self Esteem Issues

Identifying Low Self-Esteem

  • Approval Addiction – Validation only with approval – “If people like me I must be good.”
  • Workaholic – “If I accomplish so much, I must be good.”
  • Perfectionism  – “If I am perfect I must be good.”
  • Symbolic Validation – Intense need to have nice things like BMW, brand name clothes or big house, “If I am successful I must be good.”
  • Need To Be Needed – End up in unhealthy relationships to be needed.
  • Reactive Mood – Mood oscillating with elated mood from approval to crashing when not appreciated, many times in a day.
  • Rejection Sensitivity – Extreme intolerance to simple criticism or rejection – They feel like a failure after receiving any type of criticism.

There is nothing wrong with having nicer things, being liked by people and hard working but if they become only way of validation, they eventually burn out and feel depressed in trying to accomplish them.

The Signs Of Low Self-Esteem Are:

  • Makes negative “I am” statements.
  • Fears new experiences and changes; lacks trust.
  • Has exaggerated responses to defeats or disappointments;  wants to be perfect, but sees self as far from perfect.
  • Frequently boasts; exaggerates successes to cover up feelings  of inadequacy.
  • Eager to please; strong need for approval and constant support.
  • Demonstrates poor eye contact.
  • Strong need for material possessions.
  • Reluctant to express own ideas; lacks belief in self.
  • Uses lots of energy to maintain a false image.
  • Excessively anxious.
  • Overly sensitive to criticism, but overly critical of others.
  • Apologizes excessively; lots of negative self-talk.

Help To Build:

Self-Esteem In Others

  • Look for opportunities to praise them when they have done a good job or put forth a lot of effort.
  • Affection and spontaneity can also help with  building self-esteem.
  • Laugh at yourself. Demonstrating that it is OK to laugh at yourself shows the importance of a sense of humor, leading them to understand everyone is fallible and that it is okay to do so.
  • Help them re-think things in a positive way instead of focusing negative feelings on themselves.
  • Help them to take responsibility for their own problems. You can help them think of other solutions and answer their questions, but solving a problem can bolster their confidence.
  • Seeking professional help will also aid in solving self-esteem problems and will help them have an optimistic view of life.

Self Esteem Scales

Please download the PDF below. Need Adobe Acrobat Reader DC? It’s free – CLICK HERE.

Contact Mathers Clinic

Contact us to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist or for more information about our services by calling (815) 444.9999. You may also email us at info@themathersclinic.com. We look forward to helping you meet with a psychologist at a time that works well for you.



Crystal Lake Office
145 South Virginia Street
Crystal Lake, Illinois 60014
phone: 815.444.9999
fax: 815.986.1363


Crystal Lake Business Hours
Monday 8:00am - 7:00pm
Tuesday 8:00am - 7:30pm
Wednesday 8:00am - 6:00pm
Thursday 8:00am - 5:00pm
Friday 8:00am - 5:00pm
Saturday 9:00am - 12:00pm
Sunday Closed

Woodstock Office
715 West Judd Street
Woodstock, Illinois 60098
phone: 815.444.9999
fax: 815.986.1363


Woodstock Business Hours
Monday 9:00am - 5:00pm
Tuesday 9:00am - 7:00pm
Wednesday Closed
Thursday 9:00am - 7:00pm
Friday 8:00am - 5:00pm
Saturday Closed
Sunday Closed

Mathers Community Mental Health Center Affiliates:



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